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Dear Fannie!?

By Uncategorized

Fannie responds to SAIC students about their oh-so-impending questions.

Wednesday, December 21st 2005

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Dear Fannie,

I keep dreaming of one of my teachers. In the dream his hand is guiding mine across the canvas. Do you think I should make my feelings known?

Sincerely,
Still Dreaming

Dear Still Dreaming,

Wow hot dream. What happened next, did you two watch the paint dry? If he’s that uninspiring in a dream, imagine how dull he is in real life. Forget about him and find yourself an Oceanographer. Now that’s what I am talking about! I’ll bet his eyes would always drift off into the distance. And when you asked him, “what are you thinking about?” He would say, “the sea.”

–Fannie

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Dear Fannie,

My mother just told me that she read somewhere about a woman who had twins, each from a different father. You may wonder, how did they know? Well, one was black and the other white. Could this be true? I am not saying I’m worried for myself or anything, but, well, I need to know.

Thanks,
My-mother-better-be-lying in Chicago

Dear better-be-lying,

If she is anything like my mother, she is probably lying. I did hear of a set of twins where one was normal and the other one had a sac of hair and teeth growing out of the side of its face. I mean does that mean the mother slept with a normal man and a monster man? Maybe we’ll never know.
–Fannie

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Dear Fannie,

My 21-year-old boyfriend lives with me and my 14-year-old son. Or did, until I kicked out my son. It turns out they’ve been “fooling around” and I just don’t see how I can ever trust my son again. Tell me, do you think this means my boyfriend is gay? If so, should I get a sex change so he will be more attracted to me?

Thanks,
To-snip-or-not-to-snip in Chi-town

Dear Snippy,

I say do whatever it takes to keep your man, even if it means turning into one.
–Fannie

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Do you have a question for Fannie?
Submit your question HERE. Fannie will do her best to answer all of your questions in a timely manner.

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DECEMBER 2005

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