Regardless of cause, truly memorable hangovers are surprisingly hard to come by. Yet the one incurred by sampling in quick succession all the finest shoot-able whiskys/whiskeys wicker park has to offer will stand out for years to come. Showing itself to the world, or at least two hapless individuals and a cat with a crooked tail, as a sudden knock of unwelcome sobriety at around 1pm on Sunday, October 14, this particular hangover successfully covered all the bases that the greatest of veisalgias surely must.
It began slowly, with capacities for laughter and casual conversation still fully intact, until the inevitable realization that said individuals were, in fact, still somewhat inebriated. After around an hour dehydration, headaches and violent reactions to bright lights and noises of any variety set in. These sensations were accompanied by a general confusion towards the outside world, as yet unvisited; is it raining, or a drain? is someone yelling, or is that coming from the television? Unexplained injuries were, naturally present: a couple of small burns located on the expected fingers, slightly singed hair, and a bruise on the lower left back that was around the same diameter as a tennis ball. In addition to this was an unpleasant edge of nausea, serving as a reminder that participants had transcended the common causation of “having a couple too many,” and reached a legitimate state of alcohol poisoning.
However unpleasant the physical symptoms of the hangover itself, this particular day was blessedly bereft of the usual feelings of anger, shame and creeping humiliation which all to often accompany waking in such a state.
Indeed, the only failings of this hangover were down to simple user error: in spite of the modern day convenience of acquiring such handy hangover remedies as omelets and smoothies via websites such as delivery.com, both parties failed entirely to acquire anything other than water within the first five hours of waking. Aspirin did not make an appearance until at least six hours after the realization that, yes, this was quite some hangover. Amateur mistakes which ought to be avoided at all costs. Minus one point for the horribly predictable involvement of Estelles.