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My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost three years. It wasn’t serious at first, but now we’re planning on moving in together. That’s a good thing! I’m really into him and love his family. The problem is, I think he might be interested in a girl from his class. He talks about her all the time, chooses to work with her on group projects, and sometimes even texts her. He says that it’s all class-related, but I’m not entirely sure. I don’t want to snoop on his cell phone but I’m having serious jealousy issues and I don’t want them to affect our future. Should I just cool it, or should I bring it up to him casually?
—Trouble In Paradise
Jealousy within a romantic relationship is uniquely destructive. It takes over your mind, magnifies your insecurities and makes you do things outside of your normal emotional behavior. Now I’m jealous you have a boyfriend whose phone is worth looking through.
There could be some sexual tension between your boyfriend and his classmate that you are picking up on, or he may have just found a new friend. I advise that you hide your jealousy deep, deep down in an emotional cave. The same cave where you keep memories like the time you scraped your boyfriend’s dick with your braces, your first sexy dream about your dad, the time you bought a Train album, and so on. Try not to obsess over this female classmate. Instead, use this as an opportunity to build your inner confidence.
If they get matching Patrick Swayze tattoos, broach the issue calmly and with purpose. Listen to his response, trust your instincts and move forward.
Stumped by sex? Frustrated by fucking? Reeling from a relationship? Fanny wants to hear all about it! Write to firstname.lastname@example.org with your questions.