Easy, Inexpensive Vegan Recipes to Keep The Chill Away

Illustration by Allison O’Flinn

Acorn Squash Soup (Vegan)

Soup requires little effort and money. Although it takes about an hour, it doesn’t need you to stand by the stove the entire time, so you can actually do work as it cooks, or just be true to your lazy self and do absolutely nothing.

Ingredients:

Acorn squash

Chicken or vegetable bouillon cube

1 tablespoon of cinnamon spice*

1 tablespoon of coriander*

2 cloves of garlic *

*If you are lazy you can drop these and it will still be edible.

Hassle:

Okay lazy pants, what you want to do is cut that acorn squash in half (I would also advise washing it beforehand because an ebola-infected goat may have licked it). Then lay both halves down on their open side in a baking tray filled with about one inch of water. Put the tray in an oven (if you don’t have one of those, go on Grubhub and order takeaway) at 400 degrees and let it all cook for 45 minutes.

Once this is done, take the squash out (Careful! Don’t burn those little hands), scoop the flesh of the acorn out and leave it aside in a bowl. In a saucepan, get water to a boiling point, add a chicken or vegetable stock cube and simmer until it dissolves.

Grab a pot (we are talking about a cooking implement here — let’s not get confused), put the acorn squash in it and add your stock gradually plus the garlic, coriander and cinnamon spice. Let it simmer for about 15 minutes on low heat. Put the whole thing in a blender and press the button that says “puree” (you can pick liquefy if you are aiming for a warm squash smoothie). You are done. Pour it in a bowl and enjoy with toasts, or just eat it out that blender while watching crap on the World Wide Web.

Red Cabbage & Potato Tacos (Vegan)

Red cabbage is awesome. You can eat it but you can also make a tie-dyed tee-shirt with its juice.

Ingredients:

¼ of a red cabbage

3 potatoes

Corn tortillas

2 cloves of garlic*

1 tablespoon of cumin*

Salsa roja*

*If you are lazy you can drop these and it will still be edible.

Hassle:

Cut the red cabbage in thin strips (FYI, that’s called julienning, you ignorant twat), and leave them aside for now. Bring hot water to a boil, and put the potatoes to cook until you can easily fork them through. This should take 20 minutes. Feel free to take photos of the red cabbage and upload them on Instagram as you pretend to be an accomplished cook. I like to use the Brannan filter; it makes that purple tint look very regal.

All right, potatoes are ready! Take them out of the boiling water and cut them in little cubes. Put them together with the red cabbage strips in a shallow pan with a little bit of olive oil, the garlic and the cumin. Fry gently for about 5 minutes. Serve with warm corn tortillas and salsa roja. Check how many “likes” you have gathered in the past 10 minutes instead of actually enjoying that delicious grub you just made.