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World Dormination: Notes on Crit Week

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By Noamme Elisha

What’s the difference between Crit Week and clutter? To be honest, not much. They both have c’s, r’s, and t’s. And they both occur simultaneously. Crit week hits, and random stuff—clothes, past papers, paint, project, empty coffee cups, strange items you’ve never seen in your life—all start growing from the floor up in a garden of colorful mess for finals season.

The residence halls are eerily quiet; there is no running in the hallways, no late night stumbling past the security guards, and even the common lavish dinner parties have been ditched in favor of pitiful instant noodles. There just isn’t enough time to eat, or sleep, or even remember what a social life feels like.

The 17th floor studios look like a scene from a nature documentary. On your left, we’ve got the painter, a quiet, humble species. Notice the concentrated look on its face as it carefully mixes colors. On your right, the fashion designer, an eccentric yet common species, has the seasonal heavy rings around its eyes that signify not mating season, but finals season. The drone of its sewing machine lulls it into sleep, but a quick sip of coffee (a staple in its diet) wakes it right back up. Suddenly, an unwelcome visitor appears: a sound student with loud screeching noises coming from its speakers. The painter and the fashion designer glare at it with menacing looks, and the sound student gets frightened, and quickly returns to its rightful place. The 17th floor studios are at peace once more.

Just a couple of more days until school is out, and everybody’s stressed out faces will instantaneously turn fresh, bright, smiling and ready-for-summer. Next, we can stress about what on earth we’re gonna do with summer, and how we can clean up this mess on the floor!

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