Illustration by Katie Wittenberg.
Jezebel recently published an article titled “A List of Good Cat Names.” I would like to respond with a list of bad cat names. Much like the Jezebel list, this list is indisputable. These names sound bad because they are bad.
- Persephone (the legal name of my cat)
- Anything that’s an Instagram filter
- Creamed Corn
- Realty
- Taxes
- Any curse word
- Microsoft Office Suite
- Monosodium Glutamate
- Glue
- Any body part
- Papadopoulos
- Tampon
- Christ Redeemer
- Arie Luyendyk Jr.
- Epidermoid
- Any type of medication
- Wank
- Pissant
- Kardashian
- Walrus
- National Public Radio
- Bethany Krinklequeef (anonymous submission)
- Donald
- Ivanka
- Ivana
- Melania
- Eric
- Jared
- Don Jr.
- Huckabee Sanders
- Loin
- Marlon Bundo
- Vegetarian Women’s Multi Once Daily Vitamin
- Dog
- F Newsmagazine
- Farcical
- Ali Cat
Adderall
no