F News Amplified: Transexuals VS The End of The World: Ep.1

The views and opinions expressed in this episode are those of the creator and do not necessarily reflect the official stance of F Newsmagazine or its staff. We believe in providing a platform for diverse perspectives and welcome thoughtful engagement with the ideas presented.

Citations with timecodes for this podcast are linked below in the transcript.

Transcript:

[Intro]

Gren Bee: Hi there, my name is Gren Bee and I am the multimedia editor for F Newsmagazine and also host of this show, F News Amplified.

I wanted to give a little bit of an introduction to this episode. This is the first episode in a series that I’ve been working on for a few months called “Transsexuals vs. The End of the World.” And it is a series interviewing trans people in Chicago about the rise of fascism. Very scary stuff, not a good time.

This series began in February when a bill had been filed by the Texas House of Representatives that would potentially ban medical providers from prescribing certain medications to trans patients. The bill, H.B. No. 3399, amends existing Texas law regarding procedures and treatments for gender transitioning, gender reassignment, or gender dysphoria, and limits use of public funds for transgender medical care. The bill, if signed into law, will take effect September 1st of this year. As of yet, the bill has not passed the house or senate, but it’s introduction has kept people on their toes.

I’m from Texas, and trans, and I for one, was very angry. The reason I left Texas and moved to Chicago was to pursue an MFA, but the secondary reason was to get out of Texas because I was scared. I still care deeply about my trans brothers and sisters and siblings in Texas, and one of them was coming up to visit me, my friend Bailey, who is a social worker and major player in trans mutual aid in Denton, Texas. So I wanted to talk with him, and also take him to a party full of transsexuals and lesbians. And that is what you are about to hear.

This episode was recorded in February. You’re hearing it now because we needed time to think carefully about what we were including. Originally, we talked about DIY hormone replacement therapies: things that, while important and real for many trans people, exist in a legal gray area. Because of that, we were worried about the legal risk to the folks who spoke on the record. We want to keep everyone safe. So we removed those parts. What’s left is a conversation I’m really proud of. Oh, and one more thing:

“The views and opinions expressed in this episode are those of the creator and do not necessarily reflect the official stance of F Newsmagazine or its staff. We believe in providing a platform for diverse perspectives and welcome thoughtful engagement with the ideas presented.”

Now, on to the episode.

[Intro Music]

Gren: It is February 28, 2025. A few hours ago, I was made aware that yesterday, a bill banning medical transition for trans people in my home state of Texas has been issued and may or may not be passed. I am going to meet a friend at the Blue Line, at the Damon Stop specifically. We are going to an all-lesbian toga party, and I am listening to Anne Helen Wells. It is a Friday.

[Music by Anne Hellen Wells plays]

Bailey: Do you think I need a frat guy name since we’re going to a frat guy party? Do I need a frat guy persona?

Gren: Duncan?

Bailey: I’ll be Duncan.

Gren: Duncan is the first frat guy name that comes to mind.

Bailey: I could be Duncan.

Gren: Hell yeah, hell yeah. Would you like to introduce yourself?

Bailey: Yeah, so I suppose for the night, my name is Duncan. We’re going to, to my understanding, we’re going to a Greek Life-themed trans party, which is fucking awesome.

Bailey: So I work with socialist and communist orgs in Texas, and we’re working on, you know, we do a lot of activism in general. One of the projects I’m trying to help start, though, is I want to be able to figure out a system for an underground railroad for trans people throughout the United States. So, like, either out of Texas or to get HRT into Texas, one way or the other, both, hopefully.

Bailey: [Texas politicans are] introducing a lot of bills right now that are completely banning the use of HRT or [the prescription of] HRT and trans surgeries to literally anyone. It is not limited to just children anymore. Like, no one is, like, probably soon, like no one is going to be allowed to do it at all. So it’s going to be a lot of trans people that are either trying to get out of Texas or trying to get hormones into Texas somehow. And I want to be able to help with that.

Gren: Hell yeah, dog. Hell yeah. My name is Gren Bee. I am a journalist for F News. This is true about me. I’m a multimedia editor, but sometimes I do my own reporting like this. And I am here to help in any way that I can, and also report. So yeah, it is a new kind of documentary. New kind of documentary. And then we’re going to go to a toga party. Yay!

Bailey: Yeah!

Bailey: … ways to get trans people up here if need be, This being a trans sanctuary. Apparently, as you said, the most affordable of a lot of the trans sanctuaries that exist.

Gren: That’s my take because there’s lots of great stuff on the East Coast, lots of great stuff on the West Coast. But Chicago is still pricey against the Midwest. You know what I mean? So it’s just cheaper to live here. Which is what brought me here. Out of the options. And if you look at the country map, and you look at that map, that’ll be linked. That’s like safe places for trans people, dangerous places for trans people, really dangerous places for trans people. The most dangerous places are Texas and Florida. And then there’s a bunch of blue safe places on the East and West, and then there’s Illinois. And that’s blue. So as far as I know, it’s staying that way. And even our governor, it was actually a real shock because I’m coming from Greg Abbott, and he’s a monster. And then the governor for Illinois, he put out a statement that was like, hey man, we love our trans people, we don’t want anything bad to happen to them. That’s important to me. I want trans people to be safe. And I was like, oh, I didn’t know governors did that shit.

Bailey: That’s crazy. Having an actual stance on it would be good.

Gren: And not just like, oh, I just found out about that, I want them all to die.

Bailey: I feel like I experienced such a culture shock when I went to Dublin. I did a study abroad to Dublin one summer. And it was a culture shock, and I feel like that’s always used in a negative way, where people have weird or gross feelings about a place. But I mean it in the sense that I just wasn’t used to how awesome people could be. How general society could just be. I was making friends left and right. Old people were being especially nice to me. And I was dressed punk as fuck. And also Irish people are nosy as hell, but in a positive way. Slash positive. They were all wanting to be my friends, and it was so sweet. And old people saw my red mohawk and my battle vest and shit, and they were like, I used to dress like you when I was younger. Because that was the generation that chased out the British out of Ireland.

Gren: Exactly.

Bailey: It just gave me new hope, so it’s really inspired a second wave of being inspired to do more political activism and starting new projects.

Gren: Okay, we picked up the supplies, which is great. And now we’re going to go to the freaking toga party.

Bailey: I’m so excited.

Gren: OMG, Micah says hi.

Bailey: OMG, hi Micah.

Gren: They forgot to say hi earlier.

Bailey: Aw, hi Micah.

Gren: Yeah, no, let’s run along on that. But in the meantime, we should also stop and get something to freaking drink or snack on.

Bailey: Honestly, yeah.

Gren: Hell yeah, hell yeah, hell yeah. Okay, we’re going.

Bailey: Alright, so I don’t live in Chicago, so I don’t know what resources are available here or not exactly. And I’m sure you can help me figure that out, too. Some of the people we meet tonight could help me figure that out. Not to bring business into the party.

Gren: No, we’re bringing business into the party.

Bailey: We’re bringing business into the party.

Gren: It’s going to be okay.

Bailey: Alright, cool. I was kind of trying to figure out if we did manage to get people all the way up to Chicago, then what then, where do they go? I kind of was thinking up a system originally back in Denton when there was the student housing crisis for a second, when they admitted too many students [at the University of North Texas], and they didn’t have enough houses for them so they were homeless for a minute, I was trying my best to get together a system of couch surfing. I was trying to find a bunch of volunteers that were willing to loan their couch out for just a night or something, and then we trade off shifts. Because I know that’s a lot to ask of someone, but I thought, hey, if they just kind of cycled between people for a minute, I think it could work really well. And I was thinking, if I can meet enough people in Chicago, there would at least be that, if nothing else.

Bailey: Oh my god, there’s little bird tracks in the… Oh my god! I’m sorry, that was so cute.

Gren: Little bird tracks in the cement.

Bailey: I hope we can do that. Or, you know, I don’t know if there’s any shelters around here that are really good for that, or I don’t know. I just… I haven’t moved, really. So, like, it’s one of those things that it feels hard for me to imagine a plan for someone else that way. It feels very abstract. Kind of like what we were talking about with moving to a whole different country. Just moving from state to state to me is really abstract. Trying to move from country to country is way even more like … It feels like something that is near impossible in my head because I am having so much trouble trying to think of where to start planning that. And that’s part of why I really want to move to Dublin, I really want to move to Barcelona. But, like, I don’t even know where to start planning that. Best case scenario, shit gets really good here all of a sudden. And I don’t have to. Part of me kind of feels guilty moving out instead of staying and fighting the good fight. But it’s like I’m getting tired, and I feel like there’s not enough people doing it. There’s not enough of us.

Gren: Well, and you got to keep in mind, fighting the good fight doesn’t have to be from inside the beast.

Bailey: That’s a good point.

Gren: You can kill a beast from outside of it. And if you are deliberately moving to Chicago to help people get from Texas to Chicago …

Bailey: That’s a good point.

Gren: That’s fighting the good fight.

Bailey: It’s hard to help other people if you can’t even help yourself.

Gren: Absolutely.

Gren: Okay, two things.

Bailey: Go for it.

Gren: There’s this liquor store right over here.

Bailey: Fuck yeah.

Gren: And there’s this greasy looking hot dog place.

Bailey: All right. You’ve been there before?

Gren: No. Absolutely not, but they are open, baby.

Bailey: Oh, and it’s … I think they’re more like at a restaurant.

Gren: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I’m thinking a hot dog behind a glass counter or like a glass window, man. That’s what’s up, dude.

Bailey: That’s what’s up.

Gren: That kind of bulletproof shit, dude? That’s a good hot dog. That’s a good ass hot dog.

Bailey: No way.

[intermission music for getting hotdogs]

Gren: Yeah. It is ketchup on an otherwise Chicago style hot dog, and I got to say, it does make it better.

Bailey: It does make it better. Shout out ketchup.

Gren: I will be honest. To me, a Chicago style hot dog with no ketchup tastes a lot like battery acid cum. Not necessarily a bad way. Because if you’re anything like me, you’ve developed a taste for it. And I’m like, oh yeah, okay. But I recognized it immediately. You know what I mean?

Bailey: I’m glad that this is some ketchup. It does not taste like cum.

Gren: Because cum never tastes like tomato. It is what it is.

Gren: We just got buzzed into the Togo party.

Bailey: Thank you.

Gren: We’re very excited.

Bailey: I’ve seen that in movies.

Gren: Literally.

Bailey: You could not prepare me for what that would have sounded like.

Gren: No, yeah. My apartment has one of those, but I don’t know how to set it up.

Bailey: That’s real.

Gren: Hold on. I gotta put my special hat on. Yeah.

Mia (party guest): Hey!

Gren: Hold on. I’m putting my special hat on.

Mia: Okay. You go take off your shoes.

Gren: Absolutely.

Bailey: Thank you so much.

Gren: 100%.

Partygoers: Hi, welcome.

Gren: Hey, gang, what the fuck is up? How’s it going?

Bailey: I should have worn a bed sheet.

Gren: Yeah, I know. Well, we’re the frat boys.

Bailey: Yeah.

Gren: What the fuck is up? This is my friend Bailey.

Partygoer: Nice to meet you.

Bailey: Yeah. Nice to meet you, too.

Gren: How you doing?

Gren: I forgot your name today. I forgot your name today is Duncan.

Bailey: Oh, yeah, it’s cool.

Gren: I forgot that your name today is Duncan. Literally, you said you wanted to be called Duncan today.

Bailey: Oh, yeah. Because we’re doing frat names.

partygoer: Oh, what’s up, Duncan? What’s up Duncan?

Bailey: It’s Duncan.

Gren: I’m Cody.

partygoer: The fuck is up? Cody and Duncan?

Gren: Yeah. Let’s go.

Bailey: Let’s fucking go.

Morgan (party host): Hi, I’m Morgan.

Gren: No, we’re frat bros.

Morgan: Oh, nice.

Gren: We’re frat bros. We are in costume.

Morgan (to Bailey): What’s your name?

Bailey: Tonight, it’s Duncan because we’re frat bros.

Morgan: Oh, Duncan. What’s up, Duncan? What’s up? What’s up, Duncan? Duncan, where’s your fucking toga?

Gren: Oh, we just came from practice.

Bailey: We just came from practice.

Morgan: You just came from practice. Oh, fuck. Okay, where’s your toga, bitch?

Gren: You want me to just show a boob?

Morgan (about the special hat): I mean, I like this. I don’t know who’s coming in, but someone is. Anyway, what was the question?

Gren: My question is, can I interview people at your toga party for a project?

Morgan: Please, as long as I’m one of them. What’s the point?

Gren: We’re talking about, not in a downer way, we’re just… Hey! We’re just talking about trans people partying even though the world is …

Morgan: Oh, totally. Oh, sweetness. Oh, man, I love that.

Gren: I thought it’d be fun.

Morgan: Pretty much everyone here is trans except for a couple people.

Gren: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ooh. We won’t be talking to them.

Morgan: I think you’ll be able to sus them out..

Gren, to Bea (partygoer): Can you tell us a little bit about coming out of Texas?

Bea: Coming out of Texas?

Gren: What was that like for you as a trans person?

Bea: As a trans person. Well, you know, I … So, I don’t know. I fucked with Chicago. I came here a couple of times when I was younger in college. I had a buddy I met who was going to Northwestern. I came for their school thing called Dillo Day, which is short for Armadillo Day. I had a couple friends coming up here, and so part of me was a little scared because I’d been in Texas my whole life. I went to school for college in Sherman, Texas. I don’t know. It was scary, but it was less so because I knew I’d have a support system here. And I’m very grateful that I had so many people, like queer, trans, etc., who were already here. And it just made leaving a place that I never wanted to … With Texas and going somewhere else, I wanted to be excited to leave, not afraid to stay. And that is unfortunately, where I was. And, you know, I was obviously not in any immediate danger, but I was still like, I don’t really want to fucking be here in Texas anymore. Like, I’ve been here 29 years. And, I don’t know, Chicago seemed as good a place as any.

Gren: So, not to bring the vibe of Togo down, but I was wondering, are you aware that there’s a bill going around trying to, specifically in Texas, trying to prevent people from-

Bea: Yeah, obviously. Obviously. I mean, like, what else do they have better to fucking do? Yeah. Fuck Greg Abbott. Fuck Ken Paxton. Fuck Dan Patrick. Fuck John Cornyn. Fuck Ted Cruz. Fuck Sid Miller. Fuck every single person in the Texas legislature who helps aid and abet this shit. It’s annoying. It’s literally annoying. Bring back Ann Richards, you fucking cowards.

Gren: Literally. She was on “King of the” Fucking “Hill,” dude, and she was awesome.

Bea: Like, literally. And I feel bad for my friends who are still there who are trans and queer and, like, in there. And, you know, I got straight friends in Texas still, and, like, you know, they don’t quite get it. And I got friends who are queer who are, like, straight-passing, and they’re like, you know, they can do their thing. And I’m grateful for that, that they can. But, like, it’s just fucking ass for anybody who can’t leave. But it’s just ass. At the end of the day, it’s just ass. And, like, I’m sorry.

Gren: Thank you.

Sloan (partygoer): I’m nervous. Gren. I’m nervous.

Gren: Yeah, no reason to be nervous.

Sloan: What should I say?

Gren: Well, first I’m going to ask you to basically repeat what you just said.

Sloan: Are you going to put me on blast? We’re not in Texas anymore.

Gren: We’re not in Texas anymore?

Sloan: No. Are you recording?

Gren: Yeah, I am recording.

Sloan: We ain’t in Texas anymore.

Gren: What’s your name if you want to give that?

Sloan: I’m Sloan.

Gren: Hell yeah. And where are you from?

Sloan: Well, I guess Texas, kind of. I’m technically Californian, but don’t tell anybody.

Gren: It’s okay. Can I ask you a couple questions about California?

Sloan: Sure.

Gren: Because I wanted to ask, because you’re obviously most recently from Texas, and now you’re in Chicago. That’s great. That’s great. Horrible shit’s going on in Texas right now.

Sloan: Right.

Gren: And that blows. But pretty cool things are happening in California. So how was it going from point A to point B to point C?

Sloan: Well, it was interesting because in Texas, everybody hates Californians. Right. And before I got my license plate changed, I was like, it’s so hard for me to change lanes on the freeway because everyone sees my California plate, and they’re like, kill yourself. I’m not letting you into the lane. And then I moved up here, and I had Texas plates. And everyone in Chicago is like, fuck you, Texan. You cannot merge into my lane. It’s been a nightmare.

Gren: What the fuck? Can’t win.

Sloan: Thank God, now I have Illinois plates in Illinois. It’s a breeze now. Way to go.

Gren: Now, which, this is just a selfish question, but which plate do you like better out of the three?

Sloan: Oh, California. Big time. That red cursive is so sleek and classy.

Gren: It’s such a good vibe.

Sloan: And the Texas, like the font is nice. It’s like blocky, but not too, you know, self-indulgent.

Gren: Yeah.

Sloan: It’s simple.

Gren: Yeah. One thing I just think is really interesting about Texas is it’s the only state, as far as I know, that has temporary license plates that they just print out at the dealership and put on the car. And then basically you can just drive anywhere and pretend to have a Texas license plate for a little while if you don’t want anyone to like, know where you’re going.

Sloan: That’s crazy.

Gren: Which is, I’m just saying, that’s like a crazy thing.

Sloan: Yeah.

Gren: Yeah. Anyway.

Sloan: Anyway.

Gren: Anyway. You like Chicago? How’s it being trans up here?

Sloan: I love Chicago. Chicago is awesome.

Gren: Yeah.

Sloan: There’s so much to do.

Gren: There is.

Sloan: Yeah. And there’s so many fucking trans people.

Gren: There’s so many trans people.

Sloan: Part of the reason why I was kind of sad leaving Texas was because we had such a big group of trans friends. But now here we are.

Gren: Yeah.

Sloan: And now they’re all moving up here very slowly.

Sloan: They all kind of came with us, but there are also people here who we just met.

Gren: Yes.

Sloan: And they’re great. And they’re amazing.

Gren: And everyone here is a hyper-pop musician, which is awesome.

Sloan: That’s so cool. I’m like so scared. They’re all so cool.

Gren: They’re all so cool.

Sloan: What the fuck? It’s crazy.

Gren: Yeah. Listen.

Kat (partygoer): Hey, how’s it going?

Gren: What the heck is your name?

Kat: My name is Kat, dawg.

Gren: Hell yeah. Hey, Kat. How’s it going?

Kat: It’s good.

Gren: Do you identify as trans or any of that stuff?

Kat: I’m gender fluid. So, yeah.

Gren: That’s enough.

Kat: I’m part of the team.

Gren: 100%. 100%. So, being trans, being in Chicago, how long have you been in Chicago?

Kat: Since last summer.

Gren: Okay, cool. So you just moved up here, too. Did your move have anything to do with going to some place that’s not scary and evil?

Kat: Yeah, well, I’m from Florida.

Gren: Yeah, dawg. We’re from Texas.

Kat: Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you get it.

Bailey: We get it.

Kat: We’re like cousins. We get it.

Gren: So, yeah. Both of our states are blacklisted as don’t even fly here if you’re trans.

Kat: Don’t go.

Gren: And that sucks.

Kat: I’m flying there very soon.

Gren: Me too. Me too. Yeah, dawg.

Kat: And family’s there, you know.

Gren: Exactly. My partner’s there too.

Kat: It’s a crazy time.

Gren: Yeah. So, yeah. Let’s talk about it. How has Chicago been for you now?

Kat: Great. Yeah. Yeah, really great. I have this feeling, though, and I was saying earlier, you know, I feel like Chicago is so great. I’m moving here. So, you know, this different environment entirely. I mean, I grew up in a blue city within a red state. But it’s this feeling of like we’re still in the United States.

Gren: 100%.

Kat: We’ve put a Band-Aid on the situation, but it’s about to be ripped off.

Gren: Yeah, absolutely.

Kat: So it’s slightly better, but we haven’t fully gotten there yet.

Gren: Have you thought about international travel?

Kat: Oh, absolutely. In the past. But it’s just like where? Where? Where?

Gren: Yeah. No, because I know it’s so twisted, the idea, because I know there’s been a lot of talk among trans people that I know who are like, let’s move to Berlin. They’re doing it right right now.

Kat: Germany? That’s crazy.

Gren: That’s crazy, right?

Kat: No.

Gren: That’s always what I’m thinking. It’s like, didn’t you guys fuck it up big time?

Kat: Didn’t you guys really mess it up?

Gren: Yeah. I know people are like, oh, Weimar Republic, like there was some trans stuff. We all died. Hardcore. The first woman to receive gender-affirming surgery got killed by Nazis. Not even brought to a camp, just shot. Just shot and killed and set on fire.

Kat: I mean, the first thing they did was the library of all of the- yeah, they burned all the books.

Gren: You can’t be doing that.

Kat: Yeah, and it’s just like, where do we go? Where do we go?

Gren: Where the fuck do we go?

Kat: Where are we safe?

Gren: Yeah, but we’re here at this toga party.

Kat: We’re here at this toga party.

Gren: We’re here at this fucking toga party.

Kat: Yeah, this is, yeah.

Gren: That’s another thing. When it comes to partying hardy in the face of fascism, what’s important about that for you?

Kat: I mean, like, historically it’s important to me because I’m Italian.

Gren: Yeah.

Kat: Like my ancestors fled Italy because of fascism.

Gren: 100%.

Kat: And here we are again, you know? And so what can we do? But, you know, party hardy.

Gren: Absolutely, absolutely.

Kat: And, you know, you gotta keep that joy. You gotta keep that movement in you.

Gren: Absolutely.

Kat: Because what are we gonna do? We just sit down and, you know, accept it?

Gren: Yeah. No.

Kat: Exactly.

Gren: Bella Ciao, bitch.

Kat: Bella Ciao, Bella Ciao, Bella, Bella fucking Ciao.

Gren: Exactly.

(Partygoer): We have to start talking. We’re talking about spiders.

Gren: You guys ready? So first, I wanna start with Gael.

Gael (Partygoer and scientist): That’s me.

Gren: Yeah, could you introduce yourself and tell us a little bit about what you do?

(Partygoer): I have to piss. I’m sorry.

Gren: Go piss, go piss. Get the fuck out of here. You’re trying to escape too? It’s okay.

Partygoer: Yeah, I’ll leave.

Gren: No worries, no worries, bud.

Gael: I’m Gael. Right now, I work in clinical data science. Before that, I was like a full basic science dude.

Gren: Could you tell us a little bit about your concept album that you just put out? It wasn’t an album or it was an EP? I listened to it, but I don’t know how to quantify it.

Gael: Like I guess single, kind of. But yeah, essentially just what I did was I converted protein sequences into sound and then just had some fun with some silly samples on top of that. But really the meat of it is just like inherently like protein sequences are just naturally very rhythmic because they work in groups of four. So I thought that was a really interesting concept to put into sound. So, you know, I did just that with the help of my lovely wife, and it was a fun project to do, and I’m excited to work on it a little bit more.

Gren: Well, we can’t wait to hear.

Gael: Yay!

Gren: But I did want to ask you a downer question.

Gael: Yeah.

Gren: Which is right now the Trump administration is really coming for queer academia and trans academia specifically.

Gael: Yeah.

Gren: And I wanted to ask you about that. How is that inhibiting you as a trans scientist?

Gael: Well, okay, it’s really interesting because I applied for my Ph.D. programs this cycle, and every single faculty member that I talked to was really completely up in the air as to how it’s going to go. And I think that everyone’s really feeling that. I talked to a couple of Ph.D. students who were just like, we have no idea what the future is going to entail. And it’s just a really interesting time foracademia, which is something thatthe American academia system, because there was so much money in it for so long, it’s attracted a lot of attention everywhere. And people, you know, come from around the world to be a part of this culture. And it’s an inherently flawed culture, of course. But the way that it’s being dismantled is not necessarily in a way that people, I guess, anticipated for it to be dismantled. So it’s a really interesting time where people are, oh yeah, we need to think about the way that we’re doing things, but not this way. And everyone is kind of freaking out and they have no idea what to expect.

Gael: And especially because the way that academia and like, especially basic science works, it’s like on a very like quite medieval system where it’s just like a patron pays you millions of dollars to just kind of do what you want. And so now that that is kind of being challenged, there’s a lot of unknowns. But we’re also, I feel like, coming into culturally a very like anti-science time. And I feel like a lot of scientists don’t really know how to reconcile with that, where they’re, we’ve always kind of been seen as an authority figure. And the way that academia structurally really thrives is based on that structure of authority. So not only is that being questioned within scientists who want to contribute and like are like pushing against that and being like, I am a young queer person who inherently challenges these systems and wants to contribute, but not in this very structurally and dominating way, but also kind of culturally, there’s inherently a very big mistrust of science and very people just like don’t want to listen to scientists.

Gael: Not only are established sciences having to prove themselves to the general public, but the people who they’re trying to recruit into the system that’s, again, already kind of inherently very flawed and thrives off of people suffering, is also being pushed back against from the other side. So there’s a lot of unknowns. I really don’t know what science is going to look like in the next couple years. I think that it’s going to look very different, but I don’t know what shape that’s going to take. I think that, as imaginative as scientists can be, they haven’t imagined a system that could exist outside of that, which is really quite shocking if you really think about it.

Gren: Thank you for sharing that with us.

Gael: Yeah, sorry, I went on for a really long time.

Gren: It’s all good. This is really important stuff. But I have a question that I think is also important, just in a very different way. What’s the importance of fucking partying right now?

Gael: Fucking partying? Well, I put on a toga, and I think partying is important because it’s important to talk to people and connect with people in a very real and one-on-one way that you don’t necessarily get otherwise than from just being at a function and being like, hey, let’s talk about some shit. There was this article going around about how people are just not fucking partying anymore and how we need to be fucking partying more. And I agree. I think spontaneous interaction is how we… Oh my goodness, bless you, Nova (a cat at the party).

Gren: Oh my goodness.

Gael: I don’t know, partying is like … And even just kind of that spontaneous events and one-to-one connection is something that has been kind of like —-

Morgan: Sorry, we’re going to go smoke a cigarette. I’m so sorry.

Gren: No problem, guys.

Gael: I mean, that kind of spontaneous connection is really something that has been a little bit lost. Because it’s fun to make online friends, but talking to someone one-on-one and just vibing about something is completely different.

Gren: Totally.

Gael: I don’t know. If you go to a bar and you actually talk one-on-one with someone who you’ve been told is opposed to you, if you just fucking chat with them, they’re like, oh, hey, you’re actually pretty cool. Yeah, they’re like, I guess I fuck with transgenders now. And I’m like, yeah, you do.

Laura (party goer, Gael’s Partner): We met a guy named Sam at a bar at the Rainbow Club. And he was just some fucking cis straight guy. And all of a sudden, he’s sitting here throwing down with a group of four trans lesbians. And he’s just like, I need to come out to all of these trans lesbian parties, and I need my bisexual girlfriend to hang out with all of y’all . He said he was going to have his girlfriend fuck every one of the lesbians.

Gren: Well, you know, he’s on the way.

Laura: He’s on the way. He takes a step forward, two steps forward for one step back, you know?

Gren: Exactly.

Laura: But the thing was, he was there. And he just happened to be at this bar. And he chatted all of these lesbians up. And he was just like, wait a second. I fuck with y’all heavily.

Gael: Yeah. He was super into crocheting.

Laura: You got to love Sam.

Gael: Got to love Sam.

Laura: He was into cybersecurity.

Gren: Yeah.

Gren: Well, tell us about partying.

Zoey (partygoer): Well, I kind of discovered partying not that long ago. But I discovered the Chicago dance music scene.

Gren: Yeah.

Zoey: And right when I was starting to transition. And I don’t know. It just brought me a lot of comfort. Just going out, not thinking, just being with people. And especially right now, it’s just like you’re not talking. You’re just like enjoying. I mean, you are talking a little bit. But it’s like there’s just this open-minded quality of like you’re all hanging out. And like anyone can be there. And you’re just vibing on this like human level. Because you’re dancing to like simple beats.

Laura: 100%.

Zoey: You know, totally. I mean, it’s the thing with like the internet. Sorry, were you going to say?

Laura: No, I mean, I was going to agree with you 100%. I mean, I think about, you know, Denton’s Trans Pride Fest tonight, you know. It was one of those things where all of a sudden, one night is just like a plethora of experience and transness and people being brought together. And it’s funny. One of the funniest things about something like that where you see this moment where there are just like an infinite number of queer people that exist in one space is that we play shows in Denton so much. We were there. We were walking around the streets. We were at shows. And I saw 10 times the trans people that I’ve ever seen in my life in one place in one night. And all of a sudden, they’re all brought out just for the sake of it. Just for the sake of having a good time and dancing to these beats. This queer scene exists without even knowing it in a lot of ways, you know. There were trans people that I’ve never seen in my life that were just in Denton for this one night. And I never saw them again. And they were there at Trans Pride Fest.

Gren: Absolutely.

Laura: There were so many. I’m like, where have they been at all of these shows that we show that are just like these crazy transsexual dance shows? But for this one night, they were all there in one place, and it was amazing. And it’s just people get brought together like that. It’s so special.

Bailey: She brought up Trans Pride Fest earlier, and I wanted to add on to that. The first [Denton] Trans Pride Fest that happened was a reaction response to the YCT, the Young Conservatives of Texas, that was an org on campus, on the [University of North Texas]campus. They were doing things to purposefully harass and provoke shit out of people. They were inviting Jeff Younger and other horrible people onto campus to come spread misinformation and just fear monger against trans people in general. We were trying to decide what to do about this. One of the things we did was have a protest about it, and we chased Jeff Younger off the campus. But people were like, even though we did that, people were still kind of hurting about it, and over this being just a reality where YCT was still on campus at the time. People still kept trying to rally together to try and pressure YCT out. We decided to organize with a lot of local bands and helped other local leftist orgs around the area with their help and their protection.

Bailey: We held the first Trans Pride Fest on UNT campus in front of the union in that south lawn. And tons of Patriot Front bros and what are they called?

Gren: Proud Boys?

Bailey: Proud Boys, yeah, yeah, yeah. A bunch of Proud Boys showed up with their megaphones and their trucks and going up to people wearing wigs and trying to get in people’s faces with their cameras and shit and doxing people. Meanwhile, the bands are playing up on a stage that we set up. And they were so loud, it was drowning them out. So they tried to be even louder with their megaphones. Of course, the police aren’t doing anything about us being harassed by these people and them pretty much assaulting us.

Bailey: Someone, I don’t know who, but shout out to whoever this was, hacked into … Sorry. I had to take a hit off. I had to take a drag off my cigarette. Don’t tell my mom I called it a hit. She’ll make fun of me. She’s like, oh, it’s called a drag, you stoner. Sorry. Back on topic. Someone hacked into the megaphone of the main guy who had these big ass speakers and a megaphone and was trying to shout at us, hateful shit at us, and shut it off. And they couldn’t turn it back on. And so they gave up and drove off. And apparently destroyed some UNT property in the process. But of course, they didn’t get in trouble for that. All the press went to blame us. Whatever.

Gren: But it came back.

Bailey: It came back a year later. We were like, no, we have to do this again. Because I feel like there was so much like … It felt like such a win for the trans community and everyone rallying together. And even people that didn’t hear about the event at first saw while they were walking in the union. They’re like, hey, what’s this about? We talked to them about it. I think the SRA and I believe the John Brown Gun Club was there guarding us from the Proud Boys who were trying to invade our space. Shout out to all of them.

Bailey: We were trying to … Obviously, the main goal was more to spark more trans joy than to really try to … We didn’t want people feeling unsafe at the events. We wanted to really make it a positive, affirming environment. And so we decided to move it to Rubber Gloves.

Bailey: Don’t mess with Trans Texas. Don’t mess with Trans Texas. Huge, huge component. Honestly, give all the credit to them for the first and the second Trans Pride Fest. Huge in that. Huge in that. It was such a huge success. All these local bands coming together. All these trans-fronted bands and artists coming together. Just to celebrate each other, to feel pride. In a way, spitting in the face of all this fucking hate and bullshit and telling them that they can’t touch us. They can’t destroy what we have here. And I’ve been … I’m getting teary-eyed. It’s just … It’s really sick. It’s so sick. It’s such a sick thing. It’s such a beautiful thing. And I’m so glad that it’s been able to continue year after year.

Bailey: We are currently planning the next Trans Pride Fest that will happen again, of course, in October, as it’s been these last couple of years.

Gren: Yeah, I can’t wait.

Bailey: Yeah, so that’ll be fucking spectacular.

Zoey: Yeah, I mean, it’s like this kind of house music scene in Chicago, too. It’s just like house and techno music. People just come together and dance to it. And, you know, I just feel like in those moments, you know, it’s like everybody just feels so connected. Especially house music.

Gren: Absolutely. I felt that way at your set, specifically when you were opening for Anne. Literally, people were just jamming out. huge crowd.

Zoey: Yeah, that was great the other night. It was just like, I don’t know, there were so many people out. I was just like, this is like, it feels like maybe right now with everything going on that people are realizing they just need to get out and deal with this shit in this human way. Just talk to people, hang out, dance. It’s not only an escape, but it’s a release.

Laura: I mean, it’s what feels natural. Exactly. We’re all sick of the internet.

Gren: Not to make it really transgender, but it reminds me of the scene from the second “Matrix” movie.

Zoey: That’s what I was thinking of.

Gren: Where, yeah, Trinity and Neo are having sex, but then they’re just cutting to this hot-ass, sweaty dance party, or they’re just getting it down and just cutting back and forth.

Zoey: After Morpheus is announcing how they’re going to succeed, and then everyone just starts partying and fucking.

Gren: Yeah, it’s so cool, dude.

Zoey: It’s almost like two trans women made that movie.

Gren: Holy shit. Wait, what the fuck?

Zoey:Yeah, exactly.

Gael: Sorry, I’m thinking about when someone said that “Bound” was heteronormative. They’re like, oh yeah, butch femme’s heteronormative.

Gren: Oh my god. And this is why people need to get off the fucking internet and go party and go listen to dance music.

Gael: Just fucking talk to people. Literally.

Laura: Not to be a bitch and say that labels are stupid, but it’s just like this non-stop sludge and drudgery of having to identify every single thing and have to come up with some kind of reason or excuse for every single thing based on what you see and read on the internet that other people say.

Zoey: Because everything’s cataloged. Everybody knows everything now. It’s like back in the 80s or 90s, you would just go out and you’d learn shit from people around you. You wouldn’t read about everything you’re about to do.

Gael: I feel like dance music specifically is kind of this wonderful, inexplicable thing where it kind of taps into this kind of innate human thing that no one can really necessarily describe.

Zoey: No, I feel it so much because I make it, and learning to make it was really a crazy process. And I’m still learning to make it. I’m always learning to make it. But when I started making it, I was like, I can put the kicks in where they go. I can do the four on the floor kick, and I can put the hi-hats in. But you do that and you’re like, this sucks. Why is this so boring? This is the same beat that every legend does. And then you realize that, no, you have to feel it in your soul when you’re making it.

Laura: It’s a feeling at its core. I mean, that’s exactly right. I mean, there’s a reason why inherently, after so much and through so much, music and dance music has evolved to be so like, it scratches an itch that you didn’t know you had.

Zoey: It’s like this animal-

Laura: it’s primal.

Gael: It’s inherently connects you to other people. Because it’s like, oh, this is just kind of an innate human thing. It’s like rhythm and beat. And it’s so interesting. This is something that is historical and archaeological is music.

Laura: Bring it back to exactly what you’re talking about with “Proteum,” with your music project, where the rhythmicity.

Gael: The building blocks of human life are inherently kind of like in units of four. It’s crazy. The rhythmicity of it.

Zoey: I’m always thinking about why is it four and eight?

Gael: Yeah. A lot of the rhythms and patterns in the smallest facets of nature, but also kind of like the larger building blocks of life, even to the way that our universe structured is very mathematic. And that kind of forms the principles of music and dance music specifically in a way that I think is really interesting. That’s just kind of inherent to us. And it’s a really authentic way to connect with people because it goes beyond anything else. Like dance music is so special because it goes beyond like anything else. It just gets kind of those down to those like core principles of like what it means to be a person. What does it mean to have the same exact building blocks as every other person?

Zoey: Yeah, I completely agree. Just from like experiencing it. I sort of wanted to get into dance music a few years ago, and I didn’t really know what to do. And then I kind of met some people who were going out. So I started going out and I was just like, I don’t go out that much. This is hard. But then I started going out and just realizing it’s infectious. You just like want to dance then. And like, I mean, my feet are messed up. I’m not good at dancing, but I just want to. And I just figured out my way of doing it. And yeah, then I wanted to make it. And it’s like the only way I could make it was by just going out and dancing to it a lot. You learn how to make it by feeling.

Gael: Yeah, absolutely.

Gren: Hey gang, how’s it going? My name’s Gren Bee. We’re doing some interviewing at the toga party.

Morgan: Cheers! Hey Gren Bee, what’s up at the toga party? Morg here.

Gren: Yeah, thank you so much. How’s it going, dawg?

Morgan: It’s going, dawg.

Gren: Hell yeah. So this is your toga party.

Morgan: It is my toga party. It was my idea. People will claim that it was …

Sara (co-host: It was my idea! (co-host):

Morgan: No! People will claim it was their idea, but I was the one who sat down and said, party’s happening right now.

Sara: I’ve been talking about a toga party for five years.

Morgan: Gren, don’t let them tell you. There’s a bunch of lesbians here who will say “it’s my idea,” but the number one lesbian in the room is me, Morgan Morrison.

Sara: That’s not true.

Morgan: Someone give me a lighter!

Gren: Let me ask you this. What’s the concept behind … Why is it important right now to have a lesbian trans toga party?

Morgan: Oh, it’s important for a bunch of fat butches to be in the room. It’s really important for a bunch of fat butch people to be standing around wearing like half-naked clothing. For me personally, I’m going through a lot right now. I need that.

Gren: Yeah, real fuck. And also, I’m so sorry.

Gren (to Sara): Half of the conceptual genius for the toga party, at least, right guys? What’s behind it for you conceptually?

Sara: I just sometimes want to reclaim things. I want to channel the frat bro and reclaim it. I think it’s cool. I think it’s cool to have a costume party. I think that the frat bros sometimes get it right with their minds. You know?

Gren: Pool tables are sick.

Sara: No, they get it. Cheers.

Gren: Air hockey is awesome.

Sara: The frat parties I have been to, they kind of got it.

Gren: No, they got it down. They know how to do one thing. And it is party.

Morgan: If frats know how to do stuff, it’s how to get like half-naked and like support each other’s like bodily [autonomy]. And like, I don’t want that to be a thing that like cis people have. I want trans people to be able to come together and support like bodily [autonomy] in like the most severe way. Like I want togas to be shed. I want naked trans people at my house like immediately!

Gren: Absolutely.

Morgan: Immediately!

Gren: Anyway. Thanks so much.

Morgan: Yeah, cheers.

[Outro, with music by Anne Hellen Wells]

This podcast is made in association with F Newsmagazine. It was produced by Gren Bee, Alex Lee, Sidne K. Gard, and Sophie Goalson. Thank you so much for listening. This is F News Amplified.

And now, Anne Helen Wells.

[Music plays] [End]

Citations