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Bah! Humbug

Bing Crosbied out yet? Are you a chorus of “Jingle Bells” away from ending your life? Here’s a little yuletide heavy metal playlist to cleanse your palette.

By Uncategorized

by Eric Baskauskas

I’ll be the first to admit that a good Christmas tune at the right moment can induce all sorts of warmth and fuzziness inside me. But I’d be lying if I said that the majority of the other six thousand times between Thanksgiving and the 25th of December that I’m forced to listen to that infectious swill didn’t make me want to deck the halls with Rudolph’s innards.

There’s a good chance you know what I’m talking about, so I’ve put together a little digital mixtape for you. This should help temper all that holiday cheer with some good, old-fashioned youthful angst. This year, when you’re helping Mom bake the apple pie, offer to set the mood with some of these tunes. Nothing says “it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas” quite like this.


SIDE A: Metal Up Santa’s Ass

Municipal Waste – The Thrashin’ of the Christ
Venom – Welcome to Hell
Slayer – South of Heaven
Napalm Death – Human Garbage
Insect Warfare – Mind Ripper
MDC (Millions of Dead Cops) – Born to Die
Circle Jerks – Live Fast Die Young
Carcass – Carneous Cacoffiny
Crucifucks – Holiday Parade
Black Sabbath – Sabbath Bloody Sabbath

SIDE B: Gift Exchange

Black Flag – Gimmie Gimmie Gimmie

Dead Kennedys – Stealing People’s Mail
Christ on a Crutch – Song for a Slab of Pork
Lords – Blasphemy Act
Suicidal Tendencies – Send Me Your Money
Cryptic Slaughter – Still Born Again
The Locust – Anything Jesus Does, I Can Do Better
Cattle Decapitation – Unintelligent Design
Some Girls – You’ll Be Happier With Lower Standards
DRI (Dirty Rotten Imbeciles) – Capitalists Suck

One of the best things about this particular branch of rock and roll music is the seemingly endless supply of sacrilege and irony. Inevitably, in my effort to include metal and punk, old and new, I’ve left out plenty of choice cuts for the holiday season. No problem, ‘tis the season for giving! Post your favorites below!

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