Illustration by Aditi Singh

‘Tis the season of merry and joy once again being sullied by obnoxious Christmas music. Christmas music has been a staple of the holiday season for many years, from church hymns, to pop music, to seemingly everything else. Christmas music is, after all, its own unique genre.

Call me Scrooge, but I would argue that the entirety of the Christmas music genre has become oversaturated with the same style of songs, and is so overplayed that the it has lost its charm. In short: Christmas music is a plague on Earth.

Christmas music has a  distinct style. So many Christmas songs are upbeat and are in the key of either C or G major, such as “Jingle Bells,” “Winter Wonderland,” “White Christmas,” “It’s The Most Wonderful Time of the Year.”. This causes many of the aforementioned songs to sound similar to one another. This similarity is emphasized even more through the common “Christmasy” instruments: namely jingle bells — or bells in general. Bells are the most iconic of the Christmasy instruments.

A majority of Christmas songs rely on holiday cliches, such as bells, to create something that is distinctly Christmas, to the point that there is hardly anything unique or new. Of course, there will always be exceptions, but these commonalities have become an integral part of what makes Christmas music “Christmas music.” The most iconic and well known Christmas songs are old, which demonstrates the failure of most modern day Christmas songs to stand out in a genre that is already oversaturated.

I acknowledge that there are many subgenres of Christmas music out in the world, and that some of these genres may make genuinely good Christmas music. In fact, I have found tolerable Christmas music in the form of sea shanties. Most of these subgenres (sea shanties included) remake pre-existing songs into their style, rather than making something new and genuinely interesting. This is especially common with various hymns or other more religiously attached Christmas tunes such as “Silent Night,” or “The First Noel.” Of course, with these examples, there is no original recording, and so people are reliant on covers to even listen to the songs.

What was likely the final nail in the coffin of my personal hatred of holiday tunes is that they play everywhere from the start of November until New Year! Anyone with experience working in a customer service job knows the grating feeling of hearing the same five songs on loop for hours on end. After the first week of repeating songs that all sound the same, any sane person would rapidly lose their mind, especially when combined with interacting with customers.

Not to mention merchandise that is sold to play Christmas music through cheap plastic speakers. As a kid, my grandparents would get my siblings and me picture books that would play a Christmas song corresponding to the story. For a while, these books were fun — and by a while, I mean two reads. By the third time your sibling reads the book, you want to punch them in the face. Kids often find these Christmas music infested devices enjoyable, and will activate them repeatedly for hours. When at a store, parents might stop their child from messing around with them too much so as to not disturb the general public, but then the next kid comes around to do the same thing, and then the next, and the next, and the next. There is no escape.

If you need holiday music to survive the season, my favorite sea shanty covers are “Carol of the Bellows,” “Sulphur Ahoy,” and “Ring the Bells.” While they are covers of pre-existing songs, they’re funny and have a unique concept which makes them redeemable. I am not the most knowledgeable in the genre of alt Christmas music, but I know many people who enjoy this subgenre. I am not saying that you can’t enjoy more traditional Christmas songs. “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen” is still one of my favorite holiday songs, purely because of how nostalgic it feels, and it’s not in a major key. I simply encourage you to broaden your horizons beyond the same songs that are shoved down the public’s throats every holiday season.

Together, we can keep Mariah Carey locked in her ice prison until at least December! We could enjoy the season without being plagued by holiday songs and simply live in the magic of the holidays. Some say I don’t have a sense of whimsy because of my distaste for Christmastime songs but to that I say “Bah humbug!” as I scurry off to drink my hot cocoa in sweet Christmas-music-less bliss. Holidays can be enjoyable without the same songs on loop every year, and I encourage you to try a truly silent night this time around. We can fight the tyrannic hold that Christmas music has on our society!