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15 Great Dogs in History Who Deserve Monuments Way More Than Any Confederate Leader

A self-explanatory list for these trying times.

By F+

Illustration by Sacha Lusk.

The debate surrounding the removal of monuments to the Confederacy has been going on for a long time. Despite the fact that these monuments were erected solely to promote white supremacy and show opposition to the Civil Rights Act of 1964, 100 years after the Civil War, many Americans believe they should remain in place to honor the heritage and history of the Confederacy.

Supporting the oppression of others should obviously be considered pretty bad, but apparently, that’s a hard concept for some Americans to grasp. Trying to explain the problematic nature of Confederate statues to someone who blindly supports them is literally painful. So, take a look at these 15 dogs who deserve a statue way more than any Confederate leader to take your mind off of how stupid it is that people want to honor the Confederacy as their heritage. 

  1. Bobbie: In 1923, Bobbie went missing on a hiking trip with his family, but managed to make the 2,800 mile trip home alone in just six months!
  2. Bo Obama: Bo was the First Dog during President Barack Obama’s term, and he’s still MY dog president.
  3. Argos: Argos was the dog of Odysseus. When Argos was a puppy, Odysseus left to fight the Trojan War. 27 years later Odysseus returned dressed as a beggar and Argos was the ONLY one who recognized him. Kinda like how too few people recognize that Confederate leaders don’t deserve monuments in their honor.
  4. Lady and the Titanic Canines: Three dogs, including a Pomeranian named Lady, survived the sinking of the Titanic. The dogs’ small size allowed them to sneak onto lifeboats. Way craftier than Robert E. Lee!
  5. Toto: He knows Judy Garland, need I say more?
  6. Lady and Tramp: Lady and the Tramp, of “Lady and the Tramp,” are the reason tourists at Lou Malnati’s try and “Lady and the Tramp” their pasta.
  7. Pongo and Perdita: Pongo (72 spots) and Perdita (68 spots) are the parents of 32 puppies in the Disney movie “101 Dalmatians.” Based on their response to Cruella Deville, I doubt they’d hold the same ideologies as David Duke.
  8. Lassie: Played by a dog named Pal, Lassie is perhaps the most iconic dog movie ever.
  9. Nemo: Nemo is one of the only dogs allowed to return from the Vietnam War. He ran in front of a line of fire and survived on December 3, 1966, giving his owners enough time to call for reinforcements.
  10. Spike: Snoopy’s underrated older brother from the Peanut Comics.
  11. Laika: In 1957, Laika was taken off the streets of Moscow and became a Soviet space dog and the first animal to orbit the earth. Shortly after take off, it was revealed that there was no actual way to get Lakia back to Earth. She died after four days in the Satellite due to overheating.
  12. Chips: Chips, a German Shepherd mix, is the most decorated war dog from WWII. He served in the 3rd Infantry Division as a Sentry dog in North Africa, Italy, France, and Germany.
  13. Hachiko: Known as one of the most faithful dogs in history, Hachiko, an akita born on a farm in Japan, waited for his owner to come home for nine years after his owner’s death. Japanese pop culture uses him as a symbol of fidelity and loyalty.
  14. Airbud: “Airbud” was the movie you watched during grade school when your teacher was too hungover to teach. Definitely statue-worthy.
  15. Marley: “Marley and Me” made me cry, a feat which no Confederate monument has accomplished.

BONUS! Penny and Greta: Penny and Greta are the dogs of F Newsmagazine’s very own Rosie Accola. They are the current Entertainment section interns. Penny’s interests include making her own sick beats and Kenny Loggins. She also enjoys eating garbage and is very old. Greta thinks that music begins and ends with “Africa” by Toto. Her ears may be floppy but her head is full of dreams.

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