Illustration by Berke Yazicioglu

The MCA’s New Menu

The MCA will launch a new restaurant in May 2016 as part of their master plan to create a more accessible museum. For the last edition of the Lazy Foodie, I have decided to turn this rude and sarcastic culinary column into a good deed, and give the MCA and its future chef a much needed helping hand.

This menu, personally crafted by myself, includes some of the rarest and most expensive ingredients. It creates an unforgettable culinary experience for those who think vanguard happens on the plate too.

>> Soups + Salad

Calder Clam Chowder – $18
Served with a clam shells mobile structure to contemplate from every angle. Sprinkled with micro-greens.
Arugulabramovic – $28
Baby Arugula salad, toasted walnuts, thyme croutons, orange dressing and Pule Cheese. This rare Serbian donkey cheese is used in minimalist portion, recommended for connoisseurs. Salad served on a white plate with a side of rice grains in undisclosed quantity.

>>Entrées

Ai Weiwei Filet – $86
Japanese Wagyu Beef filet in a red wine reduction with white truffle hash browns. Served with Chinese Matsutake mushrooms — rare mycorrhizal fungi grown under armed surveillance.
Bowie Burger* (Vegetarian) — $20
Homemade black bean patty, red lettuce, green tomatoes, Montgomery’s cheddar, Portobello mushroom, onion rings, and lemon aïoli. Served on an MCA Thin White Bread® with a tomato relish lightning bolt on top.
*All ingredients subject to change without notice.

>> Dessert

Sweet Salcedo* — $12
An absent dessert for calories-counters and avant-garde enthusiasts.
*All funds from Sweet Salcedo go to victims of political violence.
Fruitical Abstraction — $16
Gwanipa melon, banana, Abaté Fétel pear, Alphonse mango, strawberries. Served with a lime and passionfruit syrup, and mint coulis.

>>Drinks

Coffee
Ubrew Roi — $7
Made with imported Kopi Luwak coffee beans.

>>Cocktails — $17

Bloody Mendieta
Bruguera Libre
MirJavadov Mule

>>The Accessible Menu

Pollock Dog — $10
Make your own Pollock-inspired art on your hot dog with our selection of sauces: Ketchup, Mango-mint ketchup, Sweet and spicy mustard, Green peppercorn mustard, French béarnaise, Barbecue sauce, Jalapeño sauce, Piri Piri sauce, Pico de gallo, Thai cucumber relish, Mayonnaise, Lemon Aïoli
Deep Dish Pizza Slice — $10
Explore the layers of this stateof-the-art version of the Chicago favorite