SAIC Students Tell Their Oddest City Stories

I was on the Blue Line. This guy walked past me and my friends and said, “If that was Mexico, I would shoot all of you Motherfuckers.”   —Forest 

This woman on the train reached in her bag, and pulled out a can of Vienna sausages. She cracked it open, and poured down the liquid from the can inside the air vent. As the train filled with an horrendous smell, she cracked the can all the way and ate the vienna sausages with her hands.   —Chris

I was on a crowded bus in late August, when out of nowhere it became evident that a man with a walker sitting in the handicapped seats was getting a little too frisky with himself. Eventually the other passengers got fed up and slammed his walker into him to make him stop.  —Matt

About a decade ago, I was driving down Sheridan Road to see a Rolls Royce with its hood up… on fire.  —Michael

I was on the Red Line near Granville and the train was delayed. After sitting in the station for quite a bit of time, the other passengers and myself started wondering what was going on when our collective attention was suddenly drawn to the next car. I could see a naked lady going crazy, smacking and screaming at people. After a while the cops came and took her away as she was screaming that she was the queen of the CTA.  —Annette

I met Jesus on the Blue Line once. He told me I had a pretty smile.   —Jordan

Jesus on the Blue Line

I watched people do key-bumps of cocaine in the bathroom during a lavish fundraiser for Breast Cancer Awareness at Block 37 in the Loop.   —Georges

On the river taxi to Chinatown, a man pulled me aside and asked if I would put my foot in a bowl of pho so he could lick it off. He had the bowl of pho. It was in a really nice bowl.   —Anjulie

I was riding the bus back to my apartment one evening and noticed that a man was trying to cover up one of the poles with a plastic bag. Upon closer inspection, it was obvious that it was smeared with blood.   —Emily

I was on the train when a woman stepped in with a horse head mask on, and started screaming, “I am a horse!” She then turned to me and said, ‘Cat, my fellowfriend!’ I had cats printed on my skirt.  —Alison

Riding the #65 bus east on Grand Street west toward Humboldt Park last summer, I sat behind a matronly woman in her late sixties. She was reading, and karma struck when I spied over her shoulder to see what it was. The passage in her book that my eye fell on went something like ‘… utterly without restraint, tearing her panties. His cock was slippery in her hand.’ Not what I was expecting.  —Troy

I walked into a staff party at Wormhole Coffee and they let me stay. I helped judge a latte art contest, got drunk off PBR and danced with baristas. Oh, and I stole a Storm Trooper coffee mug.   —Zara