This month F wanted to know:
Do artists make better lovers?
Is it a good or bad idea for one artist to date another?
Is it a gift or a curse for a non-artist to date an artist?
Dating an artist and taking one as a lover is sure to have interesting points, but can easily become tedious. Artists posses traits that are uniquely theirs, like always speaking out on political matters, to voice their opinion on everything and its relation to society (whether it has one or not), an interest in using the reproductive organs of the female body as art and calling it “visceral.”
Conversations include topics like analyzing the color blue and its political ramifications on eastern Latvia, or the societal role of free-range kangaroos. While this is interesting it becomes a bore to constantly give an opinion on such subjects. I couldn’t see a “normal” boy/girlfriend – see “Political Science major,” caring about kangaroos, or that prying my eye open is testing endurance.
It isn’t that artists aren’t interesting people, I’m an artist and have many interesting friends, and of course they have interesting friends that are, yes, artists. We have good discussions and enjoy politics but we also like to unwind and be creatively childish.
Which is another thing about artists that would make them horrible lovers, creativity is always a factor. I don’t want some paintbrush commando utilizing the tools in his Art Bin to turn me on. There’s SNM and then there’s being a performance piece or dressing like a giant ejaculating penis. (There’s creativity and then there’s creativity.)
I’m sure said artist would have great ideas for my bikini line.
“The Brazilian is so passé, why not go for something Dutch?”
” Yes thanks, I’ll try Rembrandt I hear his work looks lovely on a vagina.”
Personally, I’d get something done by Durrer – his Crucifixion of Christ would be lovely and get some great responses.
I am an artist and proud to be one, and in my view everyone is capable of making art and therefore-an artist. Though sometimes these other artists come in the disguise of a bartender, librarian, or garbage man-see “politician”. (Which is great as long as it’s not GWB.) So while you may be dating and bedding an “artist” it’s not a self-inflated, egoist with great visions for the future of fruit bat paintings to be sold in Borneo. So I believe I’ll go for the Political Science major, and if he wants to be a giant ejaculating penis, that’s fine but I’m all for Durrer.
-Mary F. Patton
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Q: Do artists make better lovers?
A: No, we have too much of an ego. We are always concerned with ourselves not our partner.
Q: Is it a good or bad idea for one artist to date another?
A: Bad Idea, lovemaking should not be a competition or critique.
Q: Is it a gift or curse for a non-artist to date an artist?
A: It is a gift! Non-artists think we are mysterious and interesting. Other artists just want to talk about their work and they won’t fuck you unless you have had a
show in the West Loop.
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I think those questions are pretty pretentious; what makes an artist any different than other people just because they have a different profession? Does that mean that those with less creative careers (or at least in the sense of creativity that those at SAIC seem to acknowledge) make lesser lovers? If that’s what the question means then that’s just plain silly; my boyfriend of 2 years isn’t an “artist” (he’s studying to be an engineer) but he’s far more creative than half the people I’ve met at SAIC, not to mention the kindest and most generous person I’ve ever known, which in my terms makes him an excellent lover. If you’re using the term “artist” as in people who see the world in a supposedly creative light and apply their vision to a form of expression, then that makes everyone an artist in my eyes, so the questions become void. A lot of so-called “artists” need to learn that they are no more different than anyone else. When people label themselves it just shows that they’re too uncomfortable with themselves to let others make their own decisions of who and what they see in the person.
–Maddie Maser
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In reference to the ‘artist with non-artist’ question: transdisciplinary love is totally hot.
–Stephen Bell
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I am an artist who is dating another artist, for the first time. I feel as if I was wasting my time in other relationships, as this one has turned out to be the most exciting of all. The “excitement” directly correlates to another intangible – CREATIVITY. Above all, artists are creative, carrying that quality with them into other facets of life, especially relationships. My girlfriend and I both consistently find new and intriguing things for us to do. Additionally, artists are expressive, thereby significantly reducing the occurrence of “lack of communication.” It is in this sense that I believe anyone, if fortunate to be dating an artist, as an artist can act as a catalyst for creativity and communication in a relationship.
–D. Anthony Carfello
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Right brained, left brained, straight and narrow business type, disturbed artist…. these are merely constructs created to stereotype and divide, and they’re bullshit. Because we all know that the only truth lies in horoscope compatibility.
–Jennifer Jansen
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The qualities of the lover are dependant on the qualities of the artist. If an artist is passionate of their work, they can be equally passionate of the person they love. The trick is to find a balance between the two so neither love suffers.
–Barry Harmon
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In response to your email, do artist make better lovers? I can only speak on behalf of the “artist and the non-artist” demographic. I have never been in a relationship with an artist, not that I don’t ever think about it. However I am in a relationship with a girl that is a special education major at Elmhurst College in the suburbs of Chicago, and yes, it is a double-edged sword. It is a gift that I can take my girlfriend to the museum and see her experience the art for the first time. She always thinks whatever work I turn out is wonderful, even if it’s junk. Then again I receive no criticism from her and when we watch movies she only likes happy endings and cannot appreciate melancholy endings, like Lost In Translation for example.
–Jonathon
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Art has a symbiotic relationship with the world. It feeds off of the world as it is, in its natural repose, and gives back an artificial interpretation. Art is a parasite on the world, and the world is a parasite on art. It is symbiosis at its best.
The artist too has a place in this. The artist is the one behind the art. The artist is the eyes and hands of art. Oftentimes the artist is the face of art. The artist needs a clear view towards the world. S/he needs to be able to see it as it is, unobstructed and uninterpreted. S/he needs to be able to see it in its natural setting.
An artist with an artist is incestuous. Together they drift further and further away from the natural and live in a world of artificials. These artificials are what affect their art and their art becomes more closed off, more detached, and more artificial.
Artists should stay as far away from other artists whenever possible. When necessary, they should engage in sexual congress; but they should beware of becoming lovers.
–zvi marvit
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It would be a nightmare dating another artist. I have to put with art 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Why would I want to put up with it anymore than I have to? “Do artists make better lovers?” If I constitute a representative sample of artists and my ex-girlfriends are unbiased judges, then I think we can safely say that artists do not make better lovers.
–Jovencio de la Paz
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“The only person artists truly know how to love is him/herself.”
Frederick DeMarco
–Submitted by Chris Shea
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I’ve noticed that artists typically get freakier, though my tastes are pretty vanilla. This only applies to women, by the way, I haven’t done any gay stuff, but you’ll probably get that covered in other testimonies. Anyways, arty ladies are in general fairly screwed up, so they bring lots of intensity to the table, which can be either good or bad. Good in the sense of going balls out- like true enthusiasm about head, not giving or receiving out of obligation, but needing that cock in her mouth NOW, for example. This enthusiasm spills over into every aspect of the sex act in subtle and not so subtle ways, and this is great. Also, anal: artists need to be original and anal definitely isn’t business as usual. It’s a nice thing to hold in reserve as an occasional spice. The few women I’ve known who have actually suggested anal have been artists. The bad however should give anyone pause for thought. Unless you are somewhat adept at spotting head cases, you should avoid artists altogether. Artsies can be clingy, emotional, frigid… the gamut. I’ve heard about threatened suicides, unfounded rape allegations (of course, nothing could be more serious than rape), and just plain crazy sex shit that is way outside my comfort zone (I don’t want a girl’s tongue in my ass, SHE shouldn’t want her tongue in my ass). Mix this with the drugs and alcohol that are de rigueur for art school, and the likelihood of a blowout scene in a bar or an evening of crying or some kind of fucked up role playing increases. This can be draining, and will quickly take away somehow from the sex. But, as artists are also typically self-absorbed, sometimes you can fly under their emotional radar and still get consistent crazy sex, if that’s your thing. One last note, artists are typically educated and aware of contraception and STDs, which is definitely good. Ultimately, though, people are first and foremost individuals. The idea of grouping people sexually on the basis of their occupation is dehumanizing and offensive. In fact, discussing this “topic” is like having a girl unenthusiastically suck your balls– sure, it’s fun, but it makes you feel like less of a person.And in this case, I’m sucking my own balls. And that’s fucking gross.
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Artists make love better, but do not make the best relationship partners. If they were good in relationships, the probably wouldn’t be artists. Artists and artists: not a good idea. We’re all too bi-polar and stubborn.
–Catherine Lerer
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The question is moot if you believe that everyone who says they are an artist or make art is really an artist. There are actors who are artists as well and yet perhaps they still must find themselves. As a result you have all kinds of people passing themselves as artist while doing just about anything that comes to mind. Art is concerned with innovation for and the advancement of culture. If an artist can do that and still remain youthful and adventurous then it is quite an accomplishment. Ain’t nothin’ like tha’ real…peace!
–Terence Daniels
February 2005
