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Home Alone: The Playlist

By Entertainment

Illustration by Annie Leue.

This year, like Robyn before me, I finally learned how to dance on my own. Here’s the soundtrack to my year.

As a twin — and a subsequently strapped-for-cash college student — I’ve lived with people my whole life. So, this year, when I decided to venture out into the wilds of Chicago and live by lonesome, with no one but R O S I E to keep me company, I was terrified. What would I do all day? Who would I notify if I went on a Tinder date? Little did I know, living alone presents a cache of joys unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. Somewhere between cosplaying a bachelorette by chugging pink wine while taking a bath and watching “Sex in the City” and applying endless facemasks, it dawned on me that living alone rocks. Best of all, I can play my music as loud as I want. It doesn’t even have to be my “cool” music, I can blast what is truly the embarrassing song o’ my soul.

If 2017 taught me anything, it’s that the world is my karaoke bar. My dance moves are amazing, even if I’ve tripped over my rug multiple times. So, I present to you, to both my chagrin and delight, my 2017 Home Alone mix:

“Perro Fiel” – Shakira

In 2007, I was eleven and the president of a Shakira fanclub; there was only one other member. As I grew up, I buried my massive crush on Shakira, only to have it re-emerge whenever I heard “Hips Don’t Lie” on the radio and still knew all the words. Now, a full decade after Shakira and Wyclef Jean (seriously, where did he go???) dominated the radio, Shakira is still producing infinitely catchy tunes in multiple languages. “Perro Fiel” is her latest single and — be still my heart — it’s an expertly-crafted bop perfect for dancing around your bathroom.

“Boys” – Charli XCX

Talk about a tune which truly encapsulates 2017’s biggest lesson for me: if your debit card won’t work at the bar ATM, you can persuade grown and infinitely gullible men to buy you alcohol. #me+myboyfriendjack #daniels

“Woman”- Kesha

As a society, we don’t deserve Kesha. Her fearlessness, her tireless work as an activist, and her friendship with Dolly Parton are just too good for this world, specifically this dumpster fire of a year. “Rainbow” was one of my favorite releases of 2017.

“Slow Hands”- Niall Horan

The last thing I expected from the Non-Harry-Styles portion of One Direction — specifically the one who loves snacks and golf like an old person — is an absolute jam. Unlike “Havana” by Camilla Cabello, I will never tire of hearing this song while a little tipsy in the back of an Uber. This song elates me, the chorus was crafted to be yelled at an excited volume.

“Bad Liar”- Selena Gomez

Two things make this song perfect:

  1. Selena Gomez sampled the bass-line from “Psycho Killer” by the Talking Heads. Even David Byrne loves it.
  2. This wonderful cover by HAIM, wherein the drummer utilises a coffee tin as a percussive instrument.

“That Don’t Impress Me Much”- Shania Twain

Apparently if you leave me alone long enough, I will realize that I love Shania Twain unironically. I don’t know what I love most about the music video for this: her leopard on leopard (with a matching leopard suitcase) lqqk? That jangly dad bass-line? Twain is truly the queen of early ‘2000s Canadian country-pop, and I long to rule a kingdom so specific one day.

“Closer to Fine”- Indigo Girls

Now we’re veering into the territory of what I call my “mom music.” During my “year in music,” Spotify kindly informed me that the average listener of what they call my “folk pop” is 44. So? This song rules and “the less I seek my source from some definitive/closer I am to fine,” sometimes you don’t need to have everything figured out, and the less time you spend seeking concrete answers the better you’ll be. HOLY SHIT, I get the song now it only took me six months.

“Bitch”- Meredith Brooks

My go-to morning jam. I’m multifaceted: a bitch, a lover, a one-time Shakira fan club president. Need I say more?

“Running Up That Hill (Deal With God)”- Kate Bush

For whatever bargaining I have to throw at the lordt for the incoming day.

“Wonder” – Natalie Merchant

Natalie Merchant is a truly underrated paragon of mom rock whose sultry voice will instantly transport you to a relaxing yet empowering locale of your choice. I would not have been able to survive this year without periodically blasting “Wonder,” or the rest of Merchant’s break out solo album, “Tiger Lily.” She really is a wonder, and I’d like to thank [her] for it.

 

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