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The Future, Perfect

By Uncategorized

An Art School Zodiac

Are you skeptical of those tried-and-true horoscope descriptions and predictions? Has your sign consistently let you down when you attempt to plan your path? Let these archaic, obsolete and forgotten constellations reveal what is written in the stars for your artistic life, love and luck.

owl
NOCTUA
// The Owl // May 21–June 20

Just like your watchful sign, you flourish after dark and are no stranger to late nights in the studio. While friends see you as a keeper-of-secrets and look to you for sage advice, you would rather spend your energy crafting meticulously-worded manifestos and playing elaborate pranks on unsuspecting visitors posing in front of the Art Institute lions.

Lucky color: Orchid
Lucky item: Glasses with no prescription in the lenses
Career suggestions: Librarian, videographer
Kindred creatives: Louise Bourgeois, Nam June Paik

clock
HOROLOGIUM
// The Clock // June 21–July 22

You are acutely aware of the effervescence of life and seek to make every moment count. You have a keen drive to make people stand up and notice the minute inconsistencies in what we know as “reality.” Be careful of impending lawsuits stemming from your lucrative invention of the first pocket teleportation device.

Lucky color: Silver
Lucky item: Modded iPad that looks like a 1980s desktop
Career suggestions: Journalist, programmer
Kindred creatives: James Turrell, Ólafur Elíasson

unicorn
MONOCEROS
// The Unicorn // July 23–August 22

You are a charismatic but sensitive soul. While you feel that many don’t understand your desire to style yourself in unique threads and baubles, the true tastemakers usually take notice and recognize your chameleon talents. Of all of the signs of the Zodiac, you are the most likely to end up in an artist profile in The New York Times.

Lucky color: Tangerine
Lucky item: Friendship bracelet from fourth grade
Career suggestion: Advertising executive, exhibition designer
Kindred creatives: Cindy Sherman, William Wegman

easel
PICTOR
// The Easel // August 23–September 22

You are supportive and flexible when it comes to embracing others’ ideas and also love expressing your own. A natural-born impresario, you easily gravitate towards opportunities for dissemination of your work but can be rather sensitive to critique. You’re the person that others turn to for collaboration on secret projects and plans.

Lucky color: Cerulean
Lucky item: Moleskine notebook covered in stickers
Career suggestion: Director, gallery owner
Kindred creatives: Takashi Murakami, Jenny Holzer

cat
FELIS
// The Cat // September 23–October 22

While you can be quick to anger, your heart is giving and you loyally fight for those you love. Because you are fiercely independent, you flourish with projects that showcase your leadership talents. You are good at hiding a sensitive streak behind your proud persona, but bring out the catnip and your true colors shine.

Lucky color: Emerald
Lucky item: Red Doc Martens
Career suggestion: Blogger, art critic
Kindred creatives: Susan Sontag, Alex Katz

airballoon
GLOBUS AEROSTATICUS
//The Hot Air Balloon // October 23–November 22

You have an insatiable wanderlust that manifests in spontaneous adventures near and far. A bit anachronistic, you prefer tried-and-true technologies to the latest fads. That being said, you work comfortably in avant-garde circles and are known as a historically informed visionary. No one would blink an eye if you were to sport a monocle or bustle.

Lucky color: Vermillion
Lucky item: Letterpress calendar
Career suggestion: Stylist, art publicist
Kindred creatives: Diana Vreeland, Dale Chihuly

furnace
FORNAX
// The Furnace // November 23–December 21

Fiery like your namesake, you are a passionate lover and fighter. You revel in opportunities to co-opt established ideas and make them work in new ways. You will go far in pursuing your attempts to rile people up in clever and smouldering ways, such as publishing fake news stories or spearheading a subversive YouTube channel.

Lucky color: Aqua
Lucky item: Postcards from places you’ve never been
Career suggestion: Curator, magazine designer
Kindred creatives: Barbara Kruger, Donald Judd

triangle
TRIANGULUM MINUS
// The Drafting Triangle // December 22–January 19

There are times where you carefully play by the rules, and other times when you happily break them. You have a tendency to overthink and overplan, both of which can be detrimental to your psyche, but the key is to focus that energy into your projects and leave room for fun away from the drawing board. Your best work involves a social commentary and asks the tough questions about the purpose of art itself.

Lucky color: Ochre
Lucky item: Mechanical pencil with top gnawed off
Career suggestion: Architect, photographer
Kindred creatives: Gerhard Richter, Hiroshi Sugimoto

typographica
OFFICINA TYPOGRAPHICA
// The Printing Press // January 20–February 19

Patterns, be they visual, linguistic, or cultural, fascinate you. You are most likely to be found with your nose buried in an obscure zine or listening to an unheard of band on vinyl while sketching ideas for their gig posters. You would do well in a professional position that lets you stay under-the-radar and unexpectedly blow minds with your proposals and pieces.

Lucky color: Chartreuse
Lucky item: Flash drive in the shape of a rocketship
Career suggestion: Typographer, translator
Kindred creatives: Jasper Johns, Ray Eames

hair
COMA BERENICES
// The Lock of Hair // February 20–March 20

You have no shortage of fans, and have the SAIC Secret Admirers posts to prove it. You have your creature comforts but never let them get in the way of trying new things and meeting new people. A dreamer at heart, you will be recognized time and again for your thoughtful, if not sometimes naive, approaches to love and life.

Lucky color: Salmon
Lucky item: Japanese masking tape in various patterns
Career suggestion: Textile designer, poet
Kindred creatives: Jeff Koons, Saul Bass

sculpture
SCULPTOR
// The Sculpture // March 21–April 20

Of all of the signs of the Zodiac, you are most likely to find success in a field that you were not expecting to pursue. While flourishing by sticking to the tried-and-true of your practice, your greatest strengths come from poking into the unknown, uncharted and uncomfortable. Your best work involves a certain amount of shock value disguised as something innocent.

Lucky color: Umber
Lucky item: Decorative bookends
Career suggestion: Publisher, jeweler
Kindred creatives: Wayne Thiebaud, Marjane Satrapi

microscope
MICROSCOPIUM
//The Microscope //April 21–May 20

If you are at a party and find the conversation dull, you have no qualms about standing in a corner and perusing a well-loved paperback. You are perpetually honing your careful eye and see no problem in voicing your frank opinions on others. A tendency to be self-deprecating can build some serious creative blocks, but surrounding yourself with supportive comrades will ensure that your work will skyrocket into the public view.

Lucky color: Eggshell
Lucky item: A hand-knit hat
Career suggestion: Art historian, editor
Kindred creatives: Gertrude Stein, Kiki Smith

Zodiac illustrations by Chris Givens

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